Undisputed Reasons to Disclose Everything to Your Divorce Lawyer
All your dirty laundry gets aired when you get a divorce. Spouses use whatever they can against each other to try to help themselves get what they want, such as primary custody of the children or a greater share of assets like bank accounts or real estate. Whether those accusations are slung in court or just during mediation sessions, it can be embarrassing, and no one wants a room full of strangers knowing some of the worst things about them.
If you are getting a divorce, you may feel the impulse to keep your behaviors a secret. You may want to keep others from finding out things you’ve done when you weren’t your best, or you may want to keep certain information private so that it doesn’t hurt you in the divorce settlement.
Despite these impulses, you should never try to keep any information secrete from your divorce lawyer. You need to disclose everything to your lawyer, even if you think that it is information they don’t need to know.
Attorneys Can’t Prepare for What they Don’t Know
Your divorce attorney’s job is to create a carefully thought-out strategy to win you the best settlement possible in your divorce. Your attorney creates that strategy after meeting with you and collecting all the information about your marriage and your split. If you don’t give your attorney all the information, he or she can’t create the right strategy to help you meet your goals.
For example, if your husband was emotionally or physically abusive, it may be embarrassing to you to share that information. However, your attorney can use it to make a stronger case for why you should get custody of your children or should keep your marital home. Without that information, your attorney may use a strategy that will not be as effective as getting what you want.
Likewise, if you have had an affair, you may not want anyone to know, and you may hesitate to share it with your attorney because you feel (rightly so) that it could harm you in the divorce.
However, if your spouse comes out with information about your affair later and your attorney isn’t prepared for it, your attorney won’t be able to respond appropriately to protect your interests.
Always tell your divorce attorney everything there is to know. Talk about fidelity issues (suspected or confirmed), financial abuse, threats, neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and anything else that could affect your divorce.
Don’t Worry about Judgement
Your divorce attorney isn’t there to judge you. Your attorney is only there to help you get the best outcome possible for your divorce. You may feel hesitant to share information because you don’t want to incur the disappointment or judgement of your attorney, but you shouldn’t worry. Your divorce attorney is trained to be professional and non-judgmental. Attorneys are also bound by rules of confidentiality, so you don’t have to worry about your attorney sharing any of the information you disclose.
The information will only be used in negotiation or litigation as necessary to get you the settlement you want.
Be Safe and Overshare
You may feel like your trip to the Bahamas with your best friend wasn’t important to your divorce, but you may regret not sharing it with your attorney when your ex alleges that you committed adultery while on the vacation. Or you may feel like that fight where you threw a book at your spouse’s head was just an embarrassing argument, but your spouse may use it as evidence of alleged abuse.
If you aren’t sure, it’s always best to overshare. It’s better for your attorney to tell you that something won’t be relevant than it is for you to make incorrect assumptions that will hurt you later.
Always be honest with your lawyer, and work together as a team to get the best outcome for your divorce. You can put the unpleasant facts about your marriage behind you when the divorce is settled, and you can focus on creating a new life for yourself then. Until then, be transparent with your attorney so you can create the best legal strategy for your case.
The divorce attorneys at My AZ Lawyers can help you if you are thinking of getting a divorce. Our divorce attorneys are experienced and knowledgeable, yet they are also compassionate and non-judgmental. They will weigh all the details in your case with sensitivity and then help you understand the best legal options to get the outcome you want from your divorce. Call our office in Arizona today to talk with a divorce lawyer about your case.
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